Dear Diary,

Finally I'm back again. But this is going to be my last post. It has been quite sometime ever since I had become single. Through these days, I have realise there are so many people around me that care and concerned for me. May it be just being busybody or whatever the case is, I still thank them for being in my life, and sending a simple greeting to ask if I'm fine. Thanks people. Really... I'm really grateful. I have family and friends around me, so why care about just one person who walks in and out of my life? And furthermore, he is a jerk, a bastard, not just a simple person, so why should I care more? I don't know. All in me that's left for him is only hatred. I don't know if this should be the way. But after knowing what he have done, I totally felt insulted. It's totally insulting to me, as a girl, as a swimmer, as a student and as a living being. I seriously don't understand, why say something when you know you will be doing otherwise a while later? Why do people just like to lie? Why can't people just speak the truth? To minimise the pain the other party will get? That's total bullshit. I won't be grateful for your actions. You are just being a fucker for keeping me in the dark and acted like it doesn't matter. I was stupid. I was blind.. and i really regretted. Why did I cry for such person? Why my heart ached for such jerk? Why I dream of such bastard? I'm glad that I have get over it. For all I want to do if I see he by any chance is just to give him one tight slap. All the love I ever had for him, it has all turned into hatred. He was the one that made me want to believe in love again. And now he is the one that made me lose faith in love once again.

Even if it's BELIEVE, there's still a LIE in between.

With regrets,
Shi Rui







17th feb
happy birthdae jingting!

20th feb
happy birthdae sis!
happy birthdae weimeng!
happy birthdae hong koon! *to tink tt i actually wish him here as well. =.=*

oh well. finally all the theory theory r over. muahaha! wats left is maths =) hopefully i dun make stupid foolish mistake like wat i did b4. i still need my A! haiix.. studies r coming to an end.. and attachment arriving veri soon.. wat will be happening? i dunoe.. man.. im feeling damm emo now. tsk tsk.. somehow i wish attachment to come quickly.. n somehow i dun wish so.. im so selfish. i just need sth to keep mi occupied, to keep mi from all the torturous missing... theres a hole in my heart le lah. haiix... seriously.. =( i miss u!
there he is, struggling thru his attachment.. n here am i, having nth to do on hand. n yet i cant be disturbing him every moment.. tinking abt how tired he is everydae makes my heart aches.. but i noe he is doin his best. striving veri hard to do well.. so i must not disturb him.. even thou i still msg him everydae. n the replies i get r still the minimal... haiix.. anithing tt i can do on my part to make both of us feel better? man.... enkai ah~!

aniway. jiayou ppl for exams, attachment, blah blah blah. =)







ok.. so i decided to blog 1st b4 i start studying. haha! omg.. im such a slacker. tsk.! even when i hav settle down n the books n papers are alr laid infront of mi. but thinking abt all the theory tt im gonna make notes on.. really.. haiix.... pls come out alot of calculations tml. lol

so ytd after RS paper, went bugis and had steamboat with gang gang *thou he is not there...*. haa! to see how slack i am. =.= ppl after paper go lib.. i after paper go bugis. haha! had lots of fun, well, with the same old ppl. haha. but we're just simply not tired of one another. lol. advance bdae celebration for my sis n kelv tgr. lol. picture with bh.. guess i will take it from him when he comes my hse again. lol. so totally dint touch my books at all after the paper. haha! omg. shit mi.

and for todae i woke up at 1plus. lol!! n now its alr 4 plus! =.= wth. i shld really start alr.. else i will seriously die of blank mind tml. looking thru the notes makes mi sick man. y so much theory!! =( n i was looking thru photos just now.. n i found a classic one. haha! related to BPA. its BCS. haha! how i studied for BCS.. =P



okok.. go go go!! STUDY LO~~ ciaox~ good luck ppl~ =)







happy valentine's dae everyone~ =)

my veri veri first valentine's dae to spend with my love one! =)
appreciated that you have made out time for mi.. had really enjoy todae. =) thx en kai! i love u! thou its just a short few hours time.. but i appreciated every single moment with u.. =) looking forward to the next time im meeting you!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! <3

i love u!

lol. he has found my bedmate another parnter. haha!
peace~ muackx!







Dear diary,
I have decided that I will not give up and will persevere to the very end. Right now, what's the most important is to study. Even though I may not focus 100% on it, but I still try my best to focus 99%. I must study hard and not disappoint anyone, including him. I will prove that being in a relationship will not affect my studies, and that at the same time I am able to persevere and overcome any obstacles faced. I will NOT give up and I MEAN IT. Be prepared.. cause I'm already stuck to you. Its not that any problems can break me away from you. It's not that easy. So be prepared! I will wish for the very best for your studies, and show that you will be able to do it as well even if you are in a relationship. I will support you to the very end. I will not choose to believe in a pack of poker cards, cause I believe in you. I have absolute trust in you and I believe that we can overcome any obstacles in front of us TOGETHER. Even if you have chose to give up, I can tell you that I WILL NOT! I will do my best to save this relationship no matter what. I have decided. and that will be what I'm going to do.

p.s: please make my wishes come true. I will strive hard no matter what it takes.


With love,
Shi Rui















hey ppl~ so its chinese new year season!!
ok.. i noe im late. haha! cos todae is like the 初五 alr. haha!

除夕
so i went for work in the afternoon.. haiix.. 1st time siol.. hav to work during 除夕. ok.. i tink i hav work on 除夕b4 as well. in FES. haha! need to do spring cleaning and all.. but den i tink its half dae onli. haha. but tis time is different! i actually can skip work.. but due to some teachers not being able to cancel their lessons, the whole centre hav to operate as usual.. which makes my work last till 6pm =.=
den off we go to my yck ah ma hse for reunion dinner. as per normal.. all squeeze around a table. haha. with all the big size uncles, cousin, sibilings *oops* it just simply make the dinner more cozy. haha! my paternal side de ppl all r big big size de.. guess tts wat they call heredity huh. haaha.
den in the nite, both my cousins came over for mahjong.. played till 2 plus i tink. lost a total of $24. but was split amoung me, my sis, n mum. so just hav to pay $8 =) n tts how i 守岁. lol

初一
happy new year~
went over to my yck ah ma hse to bai nian. ahha. its the same hse i went to ytd. was the 4th family to reach. haha. wats special tt dae was.. b4 i left my hse, xy was under mi bai nian-ing. haha! which means i live on the 12th floor, xy was on the 9th floor. hahaha! so 巧。den stayed at my ah ma hse till ard 7plus? den go home le.. need to come home early to pack.. cos the next dae there r ppl coming over from the maternal side. haha.

初二
got dig up early to vacuum the floor.. den prepare the food for steamboat. well.. since they haven come yet.. den mi my sis n my dad start eating 1st. muahaha~ best. i just simply like the bbq chicken. best. of cos fish is better! excellent man. really.. shit. im feeling hungry now.. =( ok.. back back.. n so my 五姨and小姨reach the earliest. den more n more ppl reach.. next up is bh they all came as well. haha. all came to gamble. so tt dae.. we gamble till 1 plus i tink. cos i rmb i slpt at 3 plus.. =.= n guess the consequences..

初三
IM LATE FOR SKOOL!! wth... i set my alarm at 6.30am. but i actually woke up at 7.30am!! n i dint even noe tt my alarm rang.. =.= wth is tt.. omg.. n mind u. my lesson is at 8am! siao liao... den i chiong chiong chiong.. n reach skool at 8.30. lol. n funny thing tt happen on my way to skool.. i saw farah at the busstop. n our convo goes like this:
farah: goin for skool?
mi: yah.. 8 o'clock lesson
farah: *tink for a few moments* now is 8o'clock alr leh.
mi: yah.. exactly.. im late. haha!

crap. 8am alr n im still under my block, waiting for bus.. =.=
so after skool i went back home.. dint go for visiting with gang gang.. so at ard 4.. we set off to my 3rd grandaunt's house. so go there.. sit sit.. watch tv.. den go to my 二姨妈hse. n had dinner there. =) n home sweet home after tt.

初四
1st off.. HAPPY BIRTHDAE SUK CHEY! =) 二十岁了！hahaha!
ok.. im happy tt my lesson starts at 1 todae.. but guess wat.. it ends at 2.30! =.= ok.. its suppose to end at 2. den lecturer sae its 2.30. wth~ ruin my plan siol. ok.. it ruin jac's n ry's plan as well. haha! cos we were all planning to watch bride wars after lect. hahaa.but well.. tt plan continue as per normal.. just tt it takes place in bishan instead of amk.
so tt we had a mini birthdae celebration for sc after lect. haha. =) n sc still 嫌wor! tsk tsk.. ahhahaa. photos r on sinye's blog. lol. den off mi, jac n ry went to bishan. meet up with ek to watch bride wars tgr. haha.. not bad the movie.. quite touching. n it somehow makes u long a sister partner whom u share everything with.. n of cos.. not forgetting marrying the rite guy.. so after movie, jac n ry left.. so mi n ek went for lunch(?) at swensens. n after tt.. i went back for trng..
having a full stomach just simply makes u slpy. =( how i wish i could just slp lah.. hahhaa. but trng was slack. really.. 1k swim.. den 10 sets of 25m fly sprint,25m free slack. n tadah~ the end. lol. but i almost vomitted my baked rice out lah! omg. haha! seriously.. i cnnt eat b4 trng.. haiix.. den bought bread for my dinner.. plus one apple of cos. =) home sweet home.
oh! n mahjong with my eldest sis, mum, n dad. haha! n i lost $1.50 to my mum. haha!

初五
n its todae!! slpt till 2 den wake up. wow! well.. in between of my phone rang like 3 times? seriously shld hav on silent mode. haha. but well. nvm. it woke mi up.. so tt i can do my logbook. haha. gang gang is coming at 6pm to bai nian todae. lol. so yah.. tts for now.. i haven eat anithing yet!! n its 3.30 NOW!!! =.=

ciaox~

i miss u i miss u i miss u..